Culturally Preconditioned

In case you don’t already know, our Singaporean neighbours will soon get to watch the latest episodes of Heroes and a few other top shows, just hours after it airs in the States this new TV season. (Ah, remember when we get to watch Survivor just 12 hours after it aired in the States, until fucking ntv7 decided to simply stop showing the show? Buncha dipshits..). So until ASSTRO improves it’s services, I guess it’s time for the rest of us to start updating our torrent schedules.

TUESDAY, AUG. 26
“Greek” (ABC Family), 9 p.m. - huh?

MONDAY, SEPT. 1
“Gossip Girl” (CW), 8 p.m. - ick
“Prison Break” (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere - for those of you who enjoy this show
“One Tree Hill” (CW), 9 p.m. - as tweenly disgusting as High School Musical
“Raising the Bar” (TNT), 10 p.m.* - what?

TUESDAY, SEPT. 2
“90210″ (CW), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere* - i’m KINDA excited about this one
“The Shield” (FX), 10 p.m. - ho-hum

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 3
“America’s Next Top Model” (CW), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere - not for me
“Bones” (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere - I’ll catch this on Astro
“Sons of Anarchy” (FX), 10 p.m.* - never heard of it
“Top Design” (Bravo), 10 p.m. - not for me

THURSDAY, SEPT. 4
“The Moment of Truth” (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere - this could be interesting

FRIDAY, SEPT. 5
“Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere - fun show but not worth downloading, just catch it on Astro

SATURDAY, SEPT. 6
“COPS” (FOX), 8 p.m. - meh
“COPS” (FOX), 8:30 p.m. - meh
“America’s Most Wanted: America Fights Back” (FOX), 9 p.m. - meh

SUNDAY, SEPT. 7
“True Blood” (HBO), 9 p.m.* - MUST WATCH
“Entourage” (HBO), 10 p.m. - SATC for men who need assurance. I like The Pivert but this show is fluff.
MONDAY, SEPT. 8
“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” (FOX), 8 p.m. - yawnsies
“Prison Break” (FOX), 9 p.m. time-period premiere - huh? again?

TUESDAY, SEPT. 9
“Fringe” (FOX), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere* - not interested
“Privileged” (CW), 9 p.m.* - could be interesting

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 10
“‘Til Death” (FOX), 9 p.m. - nope
“Do Not Disturb” (FOX), 9:30 p.m.* - what?

THURSDAY, SEPT. 11
“Kitchen Nightmares” (FOX), 9 p.m. - hmm yes

FRIDAY, SEPT. 12
“America’s Toughest Jobs” (NBC), 8 p.m.* - yawn
“Don’t Forget the Lyrics” (FOX), 9 p.m. - might be as boring as Asnil’s show

SATURDAY, SEPT. 13
“MADtv” (FOX), 11 p.m. - interesting
“Talkshow with Spike Feresten” (FOX), midnight - who dat?

TUESDAY, SEPT. 16
“House” (FOX), 8 p.m. - BORING
“Lincoln Heights” (ABC Family), 8 p.m. - not interested
“Fringe” (FOX), 9 p.m., time-period premiere - again.. what?

THURSDAY, SEPT. 18
“Smallville” (CW), 8 p.m. - people still watch superman?
“Survivor: Gabon” (CBS), 8 p.m. - NOTHING WILL TOP SURVIVOR FANS vs FAVORITES!!!!!!
“Supernatural” (CW), 9 p.m. - yay!
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (FX), 10 p.m. - zzzz

FRIDAY, SEPT. 19
“20/20″ (ABC), 10 p.m. - not interested

MONDAY, SEPT. 22
“Dancing with the Stars” (ABC), 8 p.m., two-hour performance premiere - so not for me
“The Big Bang Theory” (CBS), 8 p.m. - boring
“How I Met Your Mother” (CBS), 8:30 p.m. - it’s just not funny
“Heroes” (NBC), 9 p.m., two-hour premiere - YUMMY!!!!!
“Two and a Half Men” (CBS), 9 p.m. - slightly funnier, but not worth downloading
“Worst Week” (CBS), 9:30 p.m.* - If it’s anything like the British version, this is a MUST WATCH!!!
“Boston Legal” (ABC), 10 p.m. - legally boring
“CSI: Miami” (CBS), 10 p.m. - why are people still watching CSI?

TUESDAY, SEPT. 23
“NCIS” (CBS), 8 p.m. - meh
“Opportunity Knocks” (ABC), 8 p.m.* - might be interesting
“Dancing with the Stars” (ABC), 9 p.m., special performance show - yawnsies
“The Mentalist” (CBS), 9 p.m.* - could be interesting
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC) 10 p.m. - yay for Chris Meloni!
“Without a Trace” (CBS), 10 p.m. - I’ll catch this on Astro

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 24
“Dancing with the Stars: Results Show” (ABC), 8 p.m. (special day and time) - STOP THIS SHIT
“Knight Rider” (NBC), 8 p.m.* - oooooooohhhhh worth checking out
“The New Adventures of Old Christine” (CBS), 8 p.m. - title pun boring giler
“Gary Unmarried” (CBS), 8:30 p.m.* - nope
“Criminal Minds” (CBS), 9 p.m. - nope
“David Blaine Special” (ABC), 9 p.m., two-hour special - so fucking overrated
“CSI: NY” (CBS), 10 p.m. - stop it
“Lipstick Jungle” (NBC) 10 p.m. - I can’t believe this wannabe show got renewed

THURSDAY, SEPT. 25
“My Name Is Earl” (NBC), 8 p.m., one-hour premiere - fun but not worth downloading
“Ugly Betty” (ABC), 8 p.m. - This oughta be good.
“Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC), 9 p.m., two-hour premiere - if you watch this, i want you off my list
“The Office” (NBC), 9 p.m., one-hour premiere - definitely fun.. too troublesome to download
“ER” (NBC), 10 p.m.) - boring

SATURDAY, SEPT. 27
Crimetime Saturday - drama repeats (CBS), 8 p.m. - nope
“48 Hours Mystery” (CBS), 10 p.m. - nope

SUNDAY, SEPT. 28
“60 Minutes” (CBS), 7 p.m. - nope
“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC), 7 p.m., two-hour premiere - I’ll catch it on Astro
“The Amazing Race” (CBS), 8 p.m. - AWESOMENESS!!
“The Simpsons” (FOX), 8 p.m. - Astro
“King of the Hill” (FOX), 8:30 p.m. - funny but not worth downloading
“Cold Case” (CBS), 9 p.m. - nope
“Desperate Housewives” (ABC), 9 p.m. - I heard there’s 6 characters this time around. <3 fat gabby <3
"Dexter" (Showtime), 9 p.m. - I've been meaning to watch this
"Family Guy" (FOX), 9 p.m. - not interested
"American Dad" (FOX), 9:30 p.m. - nope
"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC), 10 p.m. - it got boring
"Californication" (Showtime), 10 p.m. - OMGYAYGASM!!!!!!!!
"The Unit" (CBS), 10 p.m. - nope
"The Life & Times of Tim" (HBO), 10:30 p.m. - no thanks

MONDAY, SEPT. 29
“Chuck” (NBC), 8 p.m. - meh

TUESDAY, SEPT. 30
“Dancing with the Stars: Results show” (ABC), 9 p.m., regular day and time premiere - seriously, fucking stop it

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 1
“Pushing Daisies” (ABC), 8 p.m. - boring gilarrr
“Private Practice” (ABC), 9 p.m. - meh
“DIrty Sexy Money” (ABC), 10 p.m. - YES YES FUCKING YESSSS!!!!

FRIDAY, OCT. 3
“Everybody Hates Chris” (CW), 8 p.m. - not downloading, watch on Astro
“Ghost Whisperer” (CBS), 8 p.m. - this got renewed? Wow.
“Wife Swap” (ABC), 8 p.m. - not for me
“The Game” (CW), 8:30 p.m. - dunno
“Supernanny” (ABC), 9 p.m. - nope
“The Ex List” (CBS), 9 p.m.* - hmmm might check this out
“Life” (NBC), 10 p.m. - nope
“Numbers” (CBS), 10 p.m. - n0p3
“Sanctuary” (Sci-Fi), 10 p.m.* - will read the synopsis

SUNDAY, OCT. 5
“America’s Funniest Home Videos” (ABC), 7 p.m. - are you kdding me
“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC), 8 p.m., regular day and time - catch on astro

MONDAY, OCT. 6
“Samantha Who?” (ABC), 9:30 p.m. - who what?

THURSDAY, OCT. 9
“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” (CBS), 9 p.m. - zzzz
“Kath & Kim” (NBC), 9:30 p.m.* - ???
“Eleventh Hour” (CBS), 10 p.m.* - will read the synopsis
“Life on Mars” (ABC), 10 p.m.* - might be boring

FRIDAY, OCT. 10
“The Starter Wife” (USA), 10 p.m. - nope

MONDAY, OCT. 13
“My Own Worst Enemy” (NBC), 10 p.m.* - sounds interesting

TUESDAY, OCT. 14
“Eli Stone” (ABC), 10 p.m. - nope

FRIDAY, OCT. 17
“Crusoe” (NBC), 8 p.m., two-hour premiere* - definitely giving this one a shot
“Crash” (Starz), 10 p.m.* - unsure

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 29
“Stylista” (CW), 9 p.m.* - maybe

THURSDAY, OCT. 30
“30 Rock” (NBC), 8:30 p.m. - nope

I honestly thought I lost the will to live after watching how The Amazing Race Asia 2 panned out with the mactor infestation, and the most annoying team ever (Marc and Roviltwat) and their even more annoying fans over at the AXN Asia forum… and I said to myself that I swear that I’m not watching TARA3 if the casting idjits are going to make the same mistakes decisions again. And I was not surprised that they did.

However, I might tune in after all.. since they casted the goddess Ida Nerina as one of the contestants!!! OMFG! She would make the best villainess ever! (if she comes across as a sweetheart, I’ll be severely disappointed). Anyway, I’ll update this post with a rundown on the rest of the contestants soon.

After years of using iTunes… Malaysians can finally fucking REGISTER for an iTunes account!!! OMFG!!!! I’ve been wanting to do this since I got my first iPod mini. I know we all mostly rip the songs from our CD collections, but there are some amazing freebies on iTunes.. the only drawback to downloading these freebies, is that you HAVE to have an iTunes account. Well now I have.. and all Malaysians can register too! This is a good sign cause it’s probably indicating that the new iPhone 3g might officially be released here soon. Squeeee!!!!

edited to add : unfortunately for now, we can only access the Applications store. I can’t seem to get on the songs/podcasts/audiobooks/movies/yet.. which is understandable because of the copyrights and shit.

I’m a pessimist.I’ll be the first one to admit that. I mean, why fucking not. if the worst that I was anticipating turned out to be true, I could go “Pftt I knew it.” Or better yet “I told you so”. But when things actually turns up better than I was expecting, well.. there’s no denying that it’s always nice when that happens - As opposed to being optimistic, where one is almost always get turned down when things don’t go their way. You set such a high expectation, then you get burned down. Setting yourself for a big let down. Why would you do that to yourself? That’s just sadistic. Optimistic? Nah, I probably wont describe myself as that. Pessimistic is the way to go. It’s a win-win situation. You cannot lose.

Being a pessimistic was fun this week. I received a phone call from this random girl on Monday. This was similar to a phone call I received last year. I almost brushed the caller off because I thought she was trying to sell me insurance. Turned out I won the grand prize of having the Meet and Greet session with the cast of Heroes in Singapore. Well, this girl on Monday turned out to be the fantabulous Suanie who told me that the haiku I wrote just won me a ticket for the premier of The Dark Knight  (sponsored by Nokia). Whenever I enter a competition, I am almost always positive that I’m not going to win. That way, you don’t set yourself up for a huge let down when you don’t. So it’s always a pleasant surprise when you find out you actually won. Again, this is opposed to entering some contest and hoping so bad that you’re going to win. But then you don’t. It happens 90% of the time. Why do so many people conveniently keep forgetting this fact? I’m not bragging (even tho I just won a Canon competition last week - LOLlers), I’m just saying being a pessimist is not a bad thing at all.

In fact, the haiku that I wrote too contains elements of pessimisms :

an ode to joker-san

world is now buzzing
an Oscar coming your way
even tho yo dead

I wrote that in jest, of course. What I really meant to say was “only because” and not “even tho”. Truth be told, I did not get the overhype over all the Oscar buzz. I did not think Heath ledger was a brilliant actor worthy of even a mention (I thought his role in brokeback was so fucking overrated - I swear I see a lot more emotions from the guys at menatplay.com). The haiku was drenched with sarcasm, whether you noticed it or not. I was more than convinced that the buzz was only because its the kind of the normal fabricated Hollywood fairytale. “ooh what a powerful performance before the final curtain drew on him yada yada yada.” I was convinced. And last night.. well I had never been more glad that I was a pessimist.

Heath Ledger fucking pwned it. Full stop.

The preview was fun. It was one of those hush hush restricted private viewings that had RELA members frisking you and scanning you with metal detectors to ensure that you’re not trying to take recordings of the movie. There were the media folks as well bloggers. Some new faces (lainie and tiffany among others), some really old faces. One face in particular face in particular, won the brand new Nokia phone for dressing up as a pretty convincing Joker - I had the privilege - or some may say, disadvantage, of sitting next to Klubkidd (the lucky bitch who won the phone) in the cinemas (where we almost resorted to some x-rated lesbionic actions).

It’s been ages since I last wrote a movie review (oh I can already feel my editors snickering at this statement). And when I do, it’s either because I feel strongly about the movie, or it’s because I am extremely bored and at my wits end, or just felt that I needed to resharpen my blunt writing knives again. Well, this is the former.

I have to admit the only reason that I was so looking forward to this movie is because of the golden trifecta of Christopher Nolen, Christian Bale and Michael Caine (the absolute anti-Christ of M Night Shyamalashit, a random A-list actor, a random A-list actress). They had proven with The Prestige and Batman Begins, that the movies that work in together, well.. works. I was initially cautious that the hooplah over the whole Heath ledger being dead thingy was going to overshadow the movie. And after watching the movie, I have to say that it did. But I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Without giving too much away, the sequel does not disappoint. It pretty much still has all the elements that we witnessed in Batman Begins.. and possibly even more. Figuratively and literally that is. The literal part may come off as a turn off to some people. The movie spans over two and a half hour, and some might perceive it as being too long (you know you are!) but that didn’t bother me. A lot of surprising and WTF moments in the movie, none of which really derailed the movie much from the main plot. An excellent balance of acting from one of the best ensembles on screen, a strong plot, terrific action sequences.. and some of those obligatory humanitarian lessons that leaves you thinking, as you walk away from the theaters (yes, I know that line is beyond gag inducing).

Batman Begins is one of my all time favorite movie ever, so The Dark Knight certainly had much to live up to. So did it live up to it’s expectations? The movie has its flaws, but to answer the question : a resounding yes, yes, YES! It may not be the best movie of the year (that title still belongs to The Kite Runner), but it is damn well one of the finests movies I’ve seen this year so far.

Normally I don’t care much for movie critics. All they care about is what they think. They will only like another review if it validates some of their points. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I do categorize myself as one of these elitist snob assholes. But for once, I think almost every one of the movie critics got their review for The Dark Knight right on the point. The good ones, and the bad one (singular). I know what you’re thinking. Just do me a favour. Be a pessimist and walk into the theater, and prove me wrong. I dare you.

ps. contrary to what you might believe, this review and post was not sponsored by Nokia. Or Menatplay.com at that.

I was resynching all the songs from my old CDs into my iPod.. when I stumbled on this golden nugget. Whatever happend to Blink 182? Whatever it is, their The Mark, Tom and Travis Show (The Enema Strikes Back!) Live CD is probably one of the best live performances CD around. Anyway, this is a personal favourite of mine. Shyamalashit should take a lesson or two from these folks if he’s looking for ’surprise endings’.

(ps. the clip contains expletives.. so proceed with caution…. on second thought.. Oh please.. you’re at my blog for fucks sake).

Here’s the other brilliant track from Madonna’s Hard Candy. Totally reminds me of Gaynor’s I Will Survive. Not a big fan of Kanye, but this is definitely doing down as one of Madonna’s classics.

I have to admit that I initially found Madonna’s Hard Candy disappointing. I mean, some of the songs are absolute rubbish. I still think half of the album is absolute trash, but this album does contain some rather good songs, 4 Minutes.. Heartbeat.. Miles Away. And I think Madonna has come up with possibly two of the best songs in her career. I’m posting a video a fan made out of the first one - Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You.

Thought I was gonna right an entry on the AI finale, didn’t you? Well, so did I actually. But since I got home early today, I decided.. why not. Let’s just try to enjoy the performances. To tell you the truth, I was on the verge of quitting this show.. not only because of the sub-par talents that we had this year, compared to the previous seasons, but mostly because I am beyond turned off by the judges this year.

The over pimping of the contestants were expected, but they went beyond disgusting this year. Well, they got what they wanted. The two chosen ones, the two Davids, are in the finals. They did not want history repeating itself by having extremely sucky winners who are complete commercial failures (ie. Ruben and Taylor)… so no more missing out on the EggheadDaughtrys and the JennyHudsons this year. But I have never been so disgusted as I was last week. Can they make it more obvious of NOT WANTING Syesha in the Finals? Syesha had, arguably, the best three performances last week (out of the total 9 performances), but nooooo - the judges weren’t going to take any chances. I know they were pushing hard for the Davids to get into the Finals, but they could at least give credit where credit was due.. instead, I hear comments like “that’s why you’re there at #3″, “not good enough for the finals”.. I mean.. where in the holiest fucks of Fuck did that come from? Dis.gus.ting.

Okay, enough said on that. I found both Randy and Paula three times annoying this year.. but I’d still take them over a certain judge in AF. As for the performances tonight.. Both of the first songs tonight, were uninspired, IMO. I mean, both of them had great performances, but I just wasn’t wowed with the two recycled songs. I didn’t pay much attention to the second songs.. but the performances were okay. It did sound like Archuletta sounded slightly better than Cook. The third songs.. ditto. I did think Archuletta did better overall tonight.

Who do I want to win? I could care less.. because both contestants annoy the shit out of me. Okay, let me rephrase that, the FANTARDS of both of the contestants annoy the shit out of me. The Archietards (mostly annoying tweengirls who probably found Sangina endearing) are beyond control. Most annoying fantards ever. As for the Cooktards.. I dunno.. I’m getting the feeling most of his fans jumped on his bandwagon after their personal favorites got kicked out, and they just wanted someone to prevent Archtard from winning.

Personally, I think both of them sounds good, but if I really had to pick, I’d pick Archtard for the win.. because he really has all the makings of a manufactured Idol contestant. So does Cook, but like I’ve said again and again, I just can’t get behind a rocker selling-out by entering an Idol show. PLEASE ALMIGHTY GOD, BRING BACK ROCKFRICKINGSTAR!!!!!! Who’s going to win this? I suspect David Cook will actually sneak in a surprising victory. But will he be as successful as Egghead Daughtry? I have serious doubts. As for Archuletta, win or lose, he’ll probably be as big as (or slightly better than) Glay Aiken.

How do I sum up this season? Well, it DEFINITELY hasn’t been a humdinger because I’ve totally seen better shit than this.

• I finally realized that I honestly don’t care who wins American Idol this year. The overpimping of the two Davids  by the judges are exteremly ridiculous. Predictions : Jason going out next.. then Syesha.. then Brooke. Final Two between the Davids and Archuletta wins.
• Iron Man was actually pretty good considering it’s rather lame trailer. Didn’t think of Robert Downey Jr of being a superhero.. but he’s not bad (better him than Nicolas Cage)
• How do you work with a colleague who’s suffering from acute verbal diarrhea syndrome (also known as the Not Knowing When To Shut The Bloody Hell Up disease)? Earplugs.

It’s Andrew Lloyd Webber’s week.. the guy who’s written about 99.9% of what’s on West End since the beginning of time (he certainly looks the part). Overall, it wasn’t as disastrous as some of the previous shows earlier this season, and for that I am thankful.

Syesha Mercado - One Rock & Roll Too Many (Starlight Express)

Didn’t really care for her last weekl.. but this week? Loved loved loved it. I personally think this is her best performance to date. And I finally understand why she’s this far along in the competition. I thought that was simply.. wow. 9/10

Jason Castro - Memories (Cats)

I know I’m going to sound like that old Webber coot, but I totally didn’t expect a guy to sing this. I was sure it would be sung tonight, but I did not think it was going to be him singing Grizabella’s song.  I like Jason but he sounded as though he’s running out of breath throughout the song. I still didn’t think it was as bad as the judges made it out to be. (Simon was right though, this did sound like it was forced). And for what it’s worth, I like cats, but the musical Cats is probably one of the most annoying staged musicals ever. 6/10.

Brooke White - You Must Love Me (Evita)

I thought she was gonna pull this one, but the snafu at the beginning (her second in the competition) and the over emoting with the pseudo-vulnerable faces.. was just ick. For fucks sake, this isn’t Akademi Cuntasia where ‘judges’ criticize you for not fully expressing yourself enough on stage. Nobody gives a shit. I’m sorry but I give AI viewers a lot more credit than the local lambs on that other show. (Yeah, I might have given a chance to that show at one time, but that syok sendiri ‘judge’ totally ruined it for me.. singing show ke drama audition tu? Whuteva). And Brooke, sweetie.. Madonna >>>>> you. 4/10

David Archuleta - Think Of Me (Phantom Of The Opera)

WTF was up with all the giggly third graders/teeny boppers going up to the stage and hugging him. How was that necessary? The eye habit comments made was kinda funny, but given the closing-eyes habit versus the eye fucking to the camera, I’d take the closing eye thingy. His performance was actually.. pretty good. Yeah it pains me to say that, but that’s how I feel. 7.5/10
Carly Smithson - Jesus Christ Superstar (Jesus Christ Superstar)

Oh. O.M.G. I was really hoping someone would sing this. Didn’t think in a million years that this would be sung on American Idol, but I’m really glad that she did. Wow.. I’m totally having flashbacks of the Nuffield Theatre right now. Mary Magdalene was the shiznits. Brava, Carly. 8.5/10

David Cook - The Music Of The Night (Phantom Of The Opera)

They are really totally pushing for a David vs David showdown in the Final Two, aren’t they? So what I say is not gonna fucking matter. Except that I thought it was nowhere near as good as the judges claim. 6/10

Who should go :Brooke (that was just… a terrible mess)
Who I want to go :  Archuleta (just to witness the mass suicide)

Who’s probably going : Jason Castro